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Assertiveness is the art of being powerfully self-assured. It is to be able to tactfully express your opinions, feelings and rights without hesitation in a way that does not offend others. But a thin line separates assertiveness and aggressiveness. Being self-adhesive comes from a sense of self-worth and confidence, which consequently reflects strength, while being aggressive it comes with the need to defend it, it conveys hostility.
As we grow up in the world, we learn the art of "fitting in" or "blending in the background". Which means that even though our opinions and desires would differ from those around us, we do not learn to vote for them because it can lead to unnecessary attention to us and the likelihood of being negative is high. So we go through life and accept situations that are internally unacceptable by us. This is very dangerous as it leads to "escapist behavior". We escape from situations that require answers by simply letting others take the lead and making decisive decisions on our behalf. To follow a leader is not necessarily wrong, but keeping quiet when the result is not allowed is a sign of unmatched.
Benefits of being self-adhesive
An independent approach allows efficient, honest and solution-oriented communication. It allows positive control over a situation and attitude towards justice towards both parties.
Since most of us are used to being second to none and docile, applying a self-adhesive style can be challenging initially. Small risks must be taken in daily conversations. In this way, an assertive strategy can be applied gradually and with minimal risk.
However, being confident does not mean not being respected. One important thing to keep in mind when learning to practice self-esteem is to remember that the other person is also entitled to their opinions and rights. Your task is not to prove them wrong but to glorify your own score. The tone and volume in which you speak is a key factor that distinguishes assertiveness from aggressiveness.
"Independence is your ability to act in harmony with your self-esteem without harming others."
Different communication styles
The four different styles of communication are passive, aggressive, manipulative and assertive.
Each of these communication styles is used by us to varying degrees and at different times. Our communication style changes depending on the people we communicate with. For example, due to a high level of comfort, a person may be self-adhesive with their family but passive in professional background due to lack of trust.
Pursuing an assertive style
A common mistake that most people make when trying to claim is that they simply raise their voice and become more demanding. This increases hostility and the desired result is rarely achieved. Being self-adhesive requires tactful use of both language and behavior.
To communicate assertively, you have to remember two important elements - how and what? How you communicate refers to your tone and volume, while what you communicate is about the script you are using. The script contains the language you chose and how well you translate your message. The best way to implement this is to frame a draft in advance and practice it a few times in different tones in front of the mirror. This way you can edit and select the most appropriate words and tone.
Prepare an assertive script
• Focus on the message you want to communicate. Do not include too many different messages as it creates confusion and the real goal is lost. Choose a point that is most important to you and emphasize it.
• Use positive language. Your choice of words should be such that it communicates your message without proving the other party wrong.
For example, your manager suggests that you conduct a meeting in a certain way. Instead of turning him out and rejecting his proposal, put it to you by saying, "It's a great proposal, but what if we try a new strategy this time? I've researched it, and I think it's right time to try it! "In this way, you have shown appreciation for his proposal and at the same time talked about what you want to do.
• Be flexible about the results you want. Being self-adhesive doesn't mean you have to win. Adhering to a predefined result highlights the conflict. Rather channel your energy towards creating a win-win situation. And this can only be done by showing the other party that you really have the best interests in mind for them.
"To be complacent and something really solid must be backed up with being fair." - Gordon Ramsay